> to anyone wondering

maybe you know why i deleted that discord account. maybe you don't. regardless, this is meant to spell it out to everyone who even cares enough to see this.

i fucking hate all of you. if i didn't bother to keep a door for contact open for you, it's very likely i include you in that statement. i hate not having anybody i can really talk to. i hate having to keep my distance from people because trying to close it will make you push me farther. i hate the endless games of trying to understand people, to read them, to try and figure out how to make them not fucking hate me, when at the end of the day it's always a game i'm meant to lose. i hate being alone but surrounded by people. i don't care who i upset because all of you are awful uncaring people who never gave me the time of day even in my cries for help. i'm glad i cut you out. and i'm glad you fucking hate me. i'm glad you think i disgraced you. because at the end of the day you don't matter, and now i see that you never did. you never cared about me, so why should i care about you? this is my final fuck you, stay away from me forever.

if i kept you, (namely jane, noelle, and ann), this doesn't apply to you. you aren't cold and uncaring like the rest of everyone i knew. and i wish i didn't have to do it, but it was for my own sake. please seek another way of contacting me, my simplex chat address is on the front page if you can be bothered to install an app. otherwise, i guess this is goodbye, mostly. i love you, because you care.

if your name is yuka or jay then you're the biggest liars im targeting in this message. everything i ever thought about you was right. everyone made me think i was just paranoid and it was bpd talking but no you two actually fucking suck. i can't believe i wasted 3 years hanging on to the rotting fucking carcass that was our "friendship", that died the moment it began. even if i do by whatever chance come back you've shown me what you are and how you really feel about me, and i will never trust either of you again.

happy valentines day lying pieces of shit.